


Peach Cobbler

by honeybun, Sabou



Category: Pilgrimage (2017)
Genre: Angst, Classism, Closeted Character, Dude Bro, Emotionally constipated David, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Just Friends, M/M, Requited Unrequited Love, Self-Denial, Toxic Masculinity, femboy diarmuid, platonic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25695730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybun/pseuds/honeybun, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabou/pseuds/Sabou
Summary: David and Dee have spent countless summers together since they were children, but this year everything is changing, emotions bubble up like the threatening clouds on the horizon.One day brings to mind how the two of them met.
Relationships: Brother Diarmuid & The Mute, Brother Diarmuid/The Mute
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Peach Cobbler

**Author's Note:**

> hello! <3 you may have seen a little snippet from this au on tumblr, including david's love rival michael! 
> 
> we hope you're all well and that you enjoy this au! 
> 
> lots of love to my sweetheart partner in crime sabo (cuddiciari on tumblr, a blog we share) you can find all their wonderful artwork there <3

The summer air was thick with humidity and Dee could feel a little bead of sweat drip down his delicate neck and soak into his neatly ironed collar. As it got later he could hear more of the crickets in the swaying grass, the warmth from the day radiated off the trees as if they’d soaked in it. David would be finished soon, he wasn’t ever too late. 

He’d come hustling over the little hill a ways off, through the long grass and between the beautiful gold of the fields. Dee might pretend not to see him, so David could sneak up and surprise him. Dee swung his legs by the small creek, socks and shoes off now - he let his toes dip lightly in the cool water. The light was starting to fade more in the evenings, summer was giving a long warm sigh and slowly closing its eyes in the doze of autumn. 

“You been waitin’ long, Dee?” David’s deep voice travelled from the thicket of trees and down Dee’s spine. 

“Nu-uh, not long,” what was too long? The concept didn’t exist when David was here. 

Ever since he was a young boy, that’s how it had been. David, Dee and David, David and Dee. He could hardly separate any part of his life from his best friend, and not that he’d ever want to. 

They’d met at some ill-fated summer camp for scouts when Dee was even younger. He had snivelled and cried for his Momma (not Dad), had fallen over on hikes and refused to eat anything the canteen had served. The camp supervisor had begun to get a twitch in his eye after the third consecutive day running that Dee had appeared, crying, in his tent. 

David was a different kettle of fish. He’d been sent here because his Dad got coupons from his summer job, it meant he got fed, had something to do, and he’d stay out of trouble for the most part. His Dad wanted to see him, sure, but David understood pretty well at this point that a warm meal and a good bed to sleep in was not a gift to stick your nose up at. He’d go swimming every morning in the lake, walk and roughhouse with other boys, and maybe steal a few sweet treats from the log cabin they were secretly held in by the outhouse.

You could not find a more opposite pair. 

And yet, they were together.

That summer had formed them into who they were today, one whole rather than two separate entities. Dee wasn’t himself without David, and, well, he might not admit it but he would be lost without Dee.

  
  


All those years ago, it had begun with an ill-fated hike. 

David and his rough boy friends had all skulked out of their cabins in worn old shorts green with grass and muddied from playing in the fields, while Dee had forlornly left his own little dorm with perfectly white socks and an ironed collar on his shirt, the lines of his shorts pressed in hard. David had known that meant money, as much as a boy like him could know something. He knew when he saw Dee from across the canteen that he was different, that the way he stuck up his nose at food told a much different story from his own clean plate. It had made him angry, made him burn with it, his eyes tracked him everywhere. Neat priss. His little outfits, all well kept, David bet he’d never had a problem in his whole damn life. 

It was that anger, burning bright and so strong it made his limbs twitch, that started all the trouble. 

They’d not been hiking long, and seeing Dee’s milky white limbs in front of him, Dee whining and complaining the whole way had got on his last nerve. He had pushed Dee, not hard, but hard enough. He’d expected him to look ashamed and embarrassed, expected his friends might laugh at him and David would feel a little better about his shoddy clothes once Dee’s had dirt on them. It hadn’t worked that way. 

Dee had looked up at him, with so much hurt in his eyes, like he only ever believed David was good and kind, and tears pooled quickly in the corners. It was David who felt embarrassed then, with a small boy who wouldn’t get up, his knees grazed and covered in mud. It was David who felt ashamed, Dee, for whom he knew only to be sweet to others, if not a tad annoying and whiny, Dee who shared his tin of toffees freely and often got made fun of, thinking everyone was his friend. All he’d done was act a bully now, David at nine years old could see that. 

‘Get up, c’mon,’ Dee bit his lip and looked away, little hand curling against his bony elbow, ‘Your shorts are getting muddy,’ he comments, as if he wasn’t the one to make it so. 

The other boys who had laughed at first had moved on, quickly forgetting what had happened. It was only David and Dee left now on the trail, the others along the path down the mountain. 

David raised his eyes up at the heavens and snagged his hand around Dee’s scrawny arm, yanking him up. Dee stood on unsure feet, knees pulled together like a newborn foal, eyes still towards the ground and not meeting David’s.

‘You pushed me,’ he mumbles, cheek ruddy red and wet now with spilt tears.

David’s hands clench into fists and he knows what he must do, hatred burned out as quick as anything, only the desperation to make it right, put Dee back to normal again left over now. 

‘I’m sorry,’ he says, lip jutting out a little. He’s always been taught to do what is right, and he knows too, when he is wrong. 

Dee’s little face turns up to him gradually, and a ruddy colour blotches across his cheeks, ‘...m’okay...’ he takes the hand David offers and carefully gets back to his feet. The two boys walk slowly together, David scuffing his worn sneakers and kicking small stones, Dee fusses and tuts at the dirt stains on his knees and David hates himself more when he realises his pink knee is bleeding a little too. 

‘Stop,’ David commands brusquely, Dee stops. His wide eyes look up at David too trustingly for the fact David only moments ago had pushed him into the dirt.

David gets down on one knee and dabs at Dee’s injury, he frowns at it and thinks about what the scout leader might do in this situation, but he hasn’t been listening much to them so he shrugs his shoulders, spits on to his fingers and dabs it across the graze. 

‘No!!!’ Dee protests, trying to squirm away but for the firm grip David has around his knee.

‘Stay still, jus’ stoppin’ it gettin’ infected,’ David’s words mumble and mush together with embarrassment and shame at what he’s done, and he decides to take this punishment on the chin. 

Dee’s lip wobbles and his whole face turns red, but he lets David prod at him some more.

‘Hurts,’ says Dee, lisp dragging out the word, David grunts and gets back on his feet, ‘Can’t walk.’ 

‘Yeah you can,’ David argues, but looking again at Dee’s attire, muddied now, his knee, he isn’t quite so sure himself. David sighs, and without any warning he picks up Dee like a bundle of twigs and swings him onto his back. There aren't nearly as many complaints from him as he had expected, once he’s settled he wriggles around and lets his arms loop David’s neck. 

David starts to walk again, his light load moving to and fro as he looks at this and that.

‘Nice butterfly,’ Dee comments as they go, David grunts.

‘Can you pick up that leaf for me, please?’ 

David grunts again and stoops down.

‘No, the one to the left.... yeah... thank you,’ David grunts for the third time. 

They carry on like that for a little while, until David’s guilt has partially subsided and he begins to believe Dee is having too much fun on his piggy back ride, but when he turns around to check, Dee has drifted off to sleep.

‘Off!’ David demands, and Dee wakes quickly with wide eyes. He whines when David sets him back on his feet and informs him that he is  _ not _ a pack mule, and Dee can walk his way back to camp. 

He tries to ignore the whimpers coming from behind him, and then the short stumbling sounds of clumsy feet, but it is more difficult to ignore a big thump and a pitiful cry. David raises his eyes towards the threatening clouds.

He turns and stomps over to Dee who has tears running tracks down his face again, David very reluctantly holds out his hand. Dee sniffs, looks up at David, his lip wobbles and then he takes the hand again. This time David sets off at a great pace and doesn’t look back, tugging Dee with him and giving him no time to look at butterflies or pretty leaves or pick buttercups. 

It isn’t too long until the camp and the other boys are in sight once again. David is surprised by how quiet and agreeable Dee has been, when he looks back Dee’s long eyelashes flutter at him, and he bites his lip, as quiet and as meek as anything. 

Before any of the other boys can see, David drops Dee’s hand, to which Dee looks incredibly disappointed over. Before he goes, David mumbles to Dee, ‘Stop cryin’ over your Momma everyday, alright?’ 

It’s for himself, mostly, nothing else. And when he looks back he swears that his chest does not ache at seeing Dee alone.

David doesn’t question until years later why he had known Dee’s name without even speaking to him before. He could lie and say that Dee was such an annoying kid, it was hard to not know him, but if he was truthful to himself, he knows this is not the case. He would remember how everyday his eyes would track Dee across the mess hall to see him look meekly at the large vat of spaghetti bolognese. He’d even figured out the kid must be vegetarian (blasphemy said his Pop) without speaking to him about it. He knew a lot of things about Dee without asking. He knew he had a favourite teddy with him, or maybe a blanket, because in times when he got nervous he would fuss and twiddle the hem of his shirt, seem to look around for something to fiddle with. He knew Dee cried for his Momma everyday, morning noon and night, but that was easy, that wasn’t special knowledge just for David. However, he also knew why it was Dee stopped crying.

He knew the reason why Dee stopped crying, and why he suddenly started following David around were two closely linked things. David would sometimes sneak his hand into Dee’s on the trips together, and when Dee started sitting next to him in the mess hall, he would slide him over his bread and butter in exchange for Dee’s sliced ham. The way Dee stuck to him wasn’t annoying for long, but filled David with an intense pride and a jealous feeling that clung to Dee much in the same way that Dee clung to him. For years after, he wouldn’t let go either. He never did. 

He has always known now, even at 18 years of age, that the things that link himself and Dee are twisting like brambles and hard if not impossible to unpick. He knows they will always be there now, and he’ll nurture them. He’s known from the moment Dee wandered up to him on that day, eyes hopeful and trusting, that he likely wouldn’t feel this way about anything again. 

Years pass by quickly, one of the only constants is the two of them together. 

Back by the golden fields, David offers a rough hand to Dee, who is still letting his legs swing by the creek. David’s hand is worn from work, and against Dee’s it feels like silk. David feels a little woozy with the difference. 

When the two stand side by side David is almost three times as wide as Dee’s little shoulders, especially these past few summers, Dee’s Momma said he’d filled out a whole lot. That’s why he got second and third helpings, that’s why Dee was always happy to go and make him another plate. He loved it at Dee’s.

‘Can we stop at the store for some sugar?’ Dee asks sweetly, how could David deny him anything? 

They walk back to David’s car together - his Dad had helped him get it cheap from some shady colleague of his, showed him how to fix it up on one dusty afternoon by his trailer. David had put all the money he had into it, cobbled together a whole year of savings, shitty jobs like the strawberry harvest and picking up construction work here and there. Apart from taking Dee to a diner every now and again, or being unable to resist buying him a treat here or there, he’d saved it all. He was proud of it, beat up and rusty as it was, and he was the most proud of it when he got to pick Dee up from somewhere, or when Dee’s Momma asked him to fetch something. Dee hopped up into the tall truck and got comfy in his seat, feet bare on the dashboard - comfy as anything - he rustled around in his shoulder bag to find a neatly folded little list. 

‘Mommy’s making peach cobbler, I need sugar and then maybe a few other things for the weekend, d’you want anything? I’d like a snack-’ Dee looks up at David as he pulls out of the dirt track and onto the main road. 

‘I could go for a snack, sure,’ David answers easily. Milkshake, ice cream, candy, Dee loved everything sweet. This past April the dentist had scolded him and he’d been sternly told to cut down on how much sugar he ate. His mother seemed to stick by it mostly, but David wasn’t that strong, not against a force of nature like Dee, and so he often relented and took him for some secret treat. Not like he’d love him better for it, David thought, but each time Dee gave him a conspiratory smile and a nudge at the checkout, he couldn’t feel an ounce of regret. Especially when Dee’s nudges were much more like subtle clinging, head on David’s shoulder, fingers plucking at his sleeve. David thinks he’ll handle the dentist fees himself. 

David pulls into the parking lot outside one of the few stores in their quiet town, one where everybody knows everyone. Dee hops out and David locks the car as he watches Dee make a beeline for the entrance. This summer had been harder than the rest, they’d been as close as ever, getting even more so by the day, and yet it hadn’t broken. Like clouds threatening on the horizon and bringing the blessed respite of rain, what was between Dee and David was yet to come to fruition. He’d wait though, he knew he would, as long as Dee needed.

The realisation had come for David suddenly, despite years of loving Dee, enjoying the intimacy they shared as they grew from children to teenagers, then to young adults, he had not realised that the love he felt was different from that which he held for his friends, his siblings, Dee was all alone in that. 

A few years ago when David was truly coming into his own, his shoulders broadening and the stubble on his chin more stubborn than ever, he had realised a change. Dee carried on with his usual aloofness, picking daisies in the shade while David did chores for his father, out back in the stretching fields that bordered their trailer. It was painful, really, David had heard about Cupid’s arrow, or that love hit like a ten tonne truck, his Dad’s old friend used to say when he met his wife it was like he got sucker punched. For David it was like his world crumbled and rebuilt in a matter of moments. 

Dee was sitting in the middle of a meadow, grass growing up tall now, some flowers swaying in the breeze. His shoulders were pale and freckled where his shirt slipped off them, his hair shone gold and copper in the sun, David felt hyper aware of Dee’s delicate fingers looping daisies together to form a chain. His breath was knocked out of him, birds rushed past with a trilling song, in the far distance a tractor rumbled, but here there was only David and Dee. It could only be them in the whole world for all David knew, it felt that way. The secret of this place hid them from everything outside, kids at school, David’s dad, other people’s expectations. 

David had walked towards Dee on numb legs, and had gone to stand above him and watch him weave daisies together with his fingers. Dee in his usual obliviousness had merely smiled at him, used to David being a little curious at times.

‘Dovi?’ Dee giggles, David’s face is a blank canvas, to Dee he looks like he’s forgotten how to speak - he has.

David’s body moves upon its own volition and he pulls Dee up slowly, so they stand toe to toe, chests just about touching, Dee a head shorter or more. 

‘What?’ Dee whispers, this new silent game intriguing him, he doesn’t know the rules yet, he’s waiting as ever for David to show him.

David shakes his head, manages a short breathy laugh, and continues to look at Dee. 

Dee can make his own fun though, he sets his bare feet on David’s sneakers to gain that little bit more height, and stretches up to knock their foreheads together gently. In one hand he reaches up to gently place his daisy chain upon their heads, dark coiled curls meeting soft blonde ones. 

David’s chest expands and contracts as if it contains the whole universe, here with his little love, flowers and grass swaying by their shins, the buzzing of industrious insects around them. He may have to learn how to do this, how to love Dee this much, and hold him close. 

Dee figures out this is a game best played slowly then, if David won’t tell him how, so he closes his eyes and settles against David’s larger form. His hand doesn’t let go of David’s, the other comes to rest of David’s chest. 

David is just learning now, but Dee has known this all along. 

  
  


Dust blows against David’s car as Dee makes it out of the store with a small string bag full of ingredients - Momma-sanctioned grocery items, while David carries the contraband. A bag of jelly sweets and some chips, two cans of fizzy stuff and for David a chicken wrap that Dee made him put in the cart, ‘You don’t eat enough when you’re out there, working all day, I worry you know that you’ll faint in the sun-’ Dee frowns and continues to babble as they get back into the car. 

David munches his wrap while Dee sets out their forbidden picnic there in the car, opens up David’s coke for him and the bag of jelly sweets, puts the bag of chips by David leg and nibbles on one without getting crumbs on any of his clothes - a talent David hasn’t ever mastered, now sat with crumbs all over him and some sauce dripping from the side of his mouth. 

They chatter - or mostly Dee does - about their day, Dee with his knees up on the seat, legs underneath him and delicate fingers picking at his snacks. When David’s eaten his wrap and they’ve eaten most of their treats, he starts the car back up, the sun getting lower on the horizon and the promise of food at Dee’s calling him. 

It’s a dusky evening, one of those where the heat has made everything hazy in the day, where you want to nap but might get a headache if you do. There’s purple near the far off hills, and nothing but golden fields for miles as they drive back to their small town. 

They hit a red light at the intersection, and as David waits for it to change he frowns, thinking of summers ago, now almost a speck in their past, that fateful week or two. While David is well aware of his own sins, the lies he tells himself, he suddenly isn’t sure of Dee’s.

‘How’d you know my name?’ Dee looks up at him, no previous mention of what David is talking about, and as always the connection between them zaps across the void, no explanation needed.

‘At camp?’ Dee smiles and dimples form in his cheeks, ‘Oh I’d wanted to be your friend all week, I even followed you to steal marshmallows from the cabin but you didn’t see me there, I got too scared at the last minute,’ Dee’s shoulders round up around his ears as he huffs a small laugh at himself, ‘I asked a boy who you were after the first night and he told me... why?’ 

David’s chest can’t contain it, which is the permanent struggle whenever Dee is with him, the enormity of it all, how he feels, and the very limited ways he can show it at the moment. He lets a large hand fall heavily into Dee’s hair and ruffle it, curls tangling around his fingers and Dee squealing that he’s messing up his hair. 

‘Dumb little kid,’ is all that David can scratch up now, his voice catching a little, he looks out of the window before he makes a fool of himself. He wanted to be his friend, huh? Well that’s a first.

There’s a creak and Dee is out of his seat a little, leaning over to David. He tilts his head to the side, a mischievous smile on his lips, and he leans forward expectedly. 

David is pulled in like a bee drowning in it’s own honey, he presses a chaste kiss to the softness of Dee’s cheek. That’s enough, that’s all. Just as they’d always done, nothing new, nothing that meant anything. Just the same. Normal. That was David’s trusted excuse.

‘Sit down, is your seatbelt fastened?’ David grumbles, they’re just friends. That’s all, just close. They’d always been this way.

The light changes, and he drives Dee home with his hands very firmly on the steering wheel, and his eyes fully focused on the road. They do not stray to his knee which burns as Dee rests a hand there, nor to the singed hairs on his forearm that Dee strokes absentmindedly at another traffic light while scrolling on his phone.

It is a long drive home, blissfully, torturously long. 

When they arrive at the house, there is peach cobbler, and food, and warmth. Dee turns to David with a morose look in his eyes, little hands gripping to David’s arm and tugging him closer, ‘You’ll stay over tonight, won’t you Dovi?’ 

Without thinking, David answers ‘Yes,’ and lives in sweet purgatory as Dee whispers to him that Momma won’t mind, that they can share, David can sleep in the big bed with him, not on the floor, that’s not comfortable, not good for your back, David. They’re just friends. 


End file.
